Puppy in the White House

Hello Kind Readers, Strategy Dog has been delighted with the news of the elections in the USA. I've been talking to some of my high level political connections, and the word on the street is that there will be a new "First Dog" when Mr. Obama takes things over in January.

I can't help but wonder whom it may be - some say the family is partial to the rescue dog, which I admire greatly. Others, go so far as to suggest something along the lines of a Scotty - like Falla - fucking FDR's dog. That bitch was lame. Bush, he's got a dog, I think his name is Barney - he may be a scotty too. That's odd. How fucked up would that be - to be Bush's dog? Wow...

Aside from the election, I've been considering how I might make life hard for the Retarded dog. I've got some ideas, and I'll update this or my other blog once some of the details have been arranged.Oh, yeah, and if you need some IP regarding lead generation or web metrics, or how to get a good deal on a marketing automation situation, shoot me an email!

I Have Been Busy - Cheese is Good

I have been busy, and I have decided cheese is good. Almost all cheese really, with some exceptions. A friend sent me this cartoon, and I said: "Harumph". I'm going to eat some cheese, and get strategic.

a good strategy dog gets input from many sources

This little dude knows that when you are studying a interesting strategic problem, you should talk to different sources to get the best answers.

Would glasses help me get strategic?

I've been wondering - would I look more strategic if I were to get glasses, like this dude?

Back in the day...

Back when I was a young Strategy Dog at the Pets.com editorial department (my first summer job after unceremoniously leaving that sham of a seeing eye dog school) I engineered a pretty intense thirty-second spot for a liver&chicken biscuit collection. Shit was way overstocked, and to make matters worse, the targeted Midwestern baby-makers weren’t biting, So naturally, the pets.com brass were getting antsy—worried they wouldn’t have enough warehouse space to stock the shipment of early seventies-style black brass Spanish conquistador dog collars coming in on the first of the month. My boss, Alan, the resident dinosaur/senior copywriter, was pitching absolute shit to the creative director. His idea of a slam-dunk was a dialogue parodying Air Bud basketball playing dog theme fused with the bon vivant sensibilities of a 3pm ABC daytime drama birthing scene. Everything was getting crazy. The cable affiliates were calling in and making a lot of noise, bitches in the media department were losing their minds—spending entire workdays cross-armed and smoking outside the building’s main entrance. Even the normally intrepid cat toy models were starting in with the Jungian knee jerk cutting escapades. The place was like the 7th inning stretch on 10-cent beer night.

In a last ditch effort, the grown-ups in charge tapped me to try and save the day. They were desperate and figured what the fuck? How bad could I be in comparison to Alan’s milquetoast attempts at career survival? So I came up with the big idea that launched my short—yet distinguished—advertising career.

Work is for Suckers!

Ha! Today is Friday, and while I'm AT work, I'm not REALLY working. That's because work is for suckers. So far today I've played the blanket game, gone to McDonalds (I'm LOVIN' IT!) and drank some water. There will be no strategy today. Strategy Dog does not let the man get in the way of his fun, no way!

Later on, after I attend a meeting, I hope to walk to the food carts. There, I will smell many interesting smells, I might develop some strategy about the smells I smell. I'm funny like that - being a Strategy Dog is not easy. Its not all fun and games either. Not by a long shot.

CupCakes Help Me Strategize

People don't understand that it makes a dog hungry, being a strategy dog and thinking about important things all day. Today I almost had a cupcake. And I played with my blanket. It was a good day to be strategy dog. Tonight I hope to find something that squeaks.